A tantrum is common in children aged 1-3 years and it is an unplanned outburst of anger and frustration; these outbursts can be physical, verbal or both. Your child may act out, be disruptive and generally display unpleasant behaviors – when your child “loses it”. Some of the triggers may be: tiredness, jealousy, hunger, lifestyle changes, excessive pampering and strict parental intervention or authoritative discipline.
Communicate with your child instead of arguing. Ask and allow them to answer by
providing different scenarios to the current situation. For example, if he/she
was playing with the pet ask him/her: “If you play roughly with the pet, what
would happen? Would you enjoy play time more than if you treated it nicely?”.
This conversational approach will develop common sense and analytical skills.
Provide options rather than bossing them around. Make them feel as if they are in
charge of their own decisions. For example, if he/she had to pick up their toys
and have lunch, ask him/her: “Would you like to pick up your toys first then
have lunch? Or the other way around. Freedom of choice gets things done
smoothly and desirably.
Use Distractions. Add a fun factor before things go out of control. For
example, if you were going for a car ride and your child starts screaming and
wobbling around in refusal of sitting in the car seat, tell him/her: “I’ve got
your favorite coloring book and some crayons. They’re all yours... go wild!”.
This approach will lure them in and keep them occupied the whole time.
them to steam out. Give your child permission to scream and shout
until they’re ready to stop. For example, if you were at home and the tantrum
suddenly occurs, tell him/her: ‘You can yell louder if you want to. We’re home
and no one is bothered by that’. This paradoxical instruction would relieve and
calm them down instantly.
Make way for learning through risk-free experiences. Acquiring skills and good habits
happens effectively through experiments. For example, if you were
cooking and he/she were bored and constantly nagging tell them: “How about we
get messy and bake a cake together? Would you like to prepare and mix all the
ingredients by yourself?”. Being involved in new situations will
certainly boost their confidence and entertain them.
Observe, Identify the trigger and work your way around it. Set a time limit to his/her
activities. For example, if he/she always refuses to turn off the TV to go wash
up and head to bed, tell him/her: “I will set a 5-minute timer and when it goes
off, you have to go brush your teeth and sleep”. This will train their mind to
respect and manage time.
Patiently discuss the situation post-outburst. Approach him/her quietly and speak to
them about what has happened and why. For example, if he/she had a hysterical
outburst at the supermarket over a chocolate bar, sit them down and have a
one-on-one conversation about why they wanted that candy so badly and if all
that screaming was necessary. Making them feel safe and understood would bring
them closer to you.
It is always
better to work with tantrums not against them. Tantrums and/or stubbornness can
have a positive outcome as well!
Cultivate a courageous attitude
Develop a strong personality
Promote positivity and maturity
Everything can be of benefit to your child’s development and character when treated wisely.
tips and witness an immediate change in your child’s behavior!